Misadventures in Lactose Intolerance – A Personal Tale

To say that my life has changed would be grossly understating it.

I grew up polishing off milk like it was going out of style, to the point where my family had to buy gallon jugs every week to keep up.

I used to put cheese on anything I could possibly manage. Extra cheese when the occasion called for it, and it usually did.

Chocolate was my meal of choice; milk, white, dark, or any combination of the three, would never cease to satisfy my sweet tooth craving.

Don’t even get me started on ice cream: the soft, sweet deliciousness that transcends seasons and meals alike. Ice cream could potentially be eaten all day, everyday, and with new flavors popping out of the grocery freezer every week, you could never get bored with it.

Well, now I’m living a very different life. A lactose-free life. Or so I’m trying. It takes a lot to change your eating habits, particularly when it comes to your favorite foods. When you are so used to eating anything your heart desires, having any sort of intolerance is quite the adventure.

Not to go into too much detail, let’s just say that if you are in the unfortunate position I am, any amount of lactose would, putting it lightly, make you feel like an overly inflated balloon. The worst part is realizing after you have accidentally eaten something, such as that delicious grilled cheese sandwich or a quart of Ben and Jerry’s, when you get that uncomfortable feeling in your midsection and the rest of your day is ruined. You do not want to spend the rest of your life in the bathroom, right? Maybe you do. But I sure as heck don’t.

Now, when I first developed this ailment, I had to turn to alternatives, which didn’t taste as good as the original. After a while, I finally discovered a possible solution, apart from foregoing dairy products forever. A little white pill with a whole lot of potential. Marketed as a “dairy dietary supplement,” this miracle in a capsule basically restores those enzymes your body seems to have lost and allows you to enjoy life again. Seems like a simple cure, right? Maybe. I have found that it only works on occasion, but maybe I’m not using it correctly. When it doesn’t, you are back to square-one.

There are food products that are ridiculously expensive and not readily available to most. I have come across lactose-free milk, lactose-free yogurt, lactose-free this, dairy-free that. I know what you must be thinking, these could not possibly compare to their dairy-filled counterparts. For the most part, you would be correct; there is no competition for the true milk and cheese lovers. Sure, I bought these things to make myself feel better. However, it never truly fills the void left from this intolerance.

It is better to move on with your life, without your beloved dairy products. The relationship was wonderful while it lasted, but now its time to find a new love.


Bonus: funny video that sums this topic up nicely!

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