I have always been a quiet person.
It started as shyness when I was a child. But over the years, I have grown out of the shyness. All that is left is Reserve. Introversion. Quiet.
There are plenty of talkative, extroverted people out there, I never feel that I need to change to become more outgoing.
At the same time, though, I feel alone. I never feel comfortable speaking up in large groups and I always get over-spoken, so I often just give up trying.
It’s not that I want to be alone. I just have a hard time making friends and connecting with people. I want to change this, but when I never get a chance to talk, it’s difficult.
It is often uncomfortable for me to watch people insert themselves into situations (often to the displeasure of others), but I guess that’s how you get people to hang out with you? I just don’t want to be a thorn in someone else’s social life shoe.
I’m not sure what to do.
I have always wished I had more friends or more people that wanted to hang out or talk with me. It’s been a lifelong wish. One that I don’t think will ever be fulfilled.
I feel like I should be content in my current life. I don’t have much to complain about.
But still, I often end up eating lunch alone (figuratively and literally).